When we were young we thought primary six exam was dope. We feared it. We were introduced to the concept of failure for the 1st time. We were brave, we forged on, and passed. Then common entrance came, the fire was hotter, but we fought again and emerged unburned. Another six year cycle, it was waec, jamb, postume, and diploma exams. Multiple opponents, we pulled out the big guns, called on our allies, forged on in glittering armour, an unstoppable cavalry charge. Did we succeed? We think we did. But did we really? We found ourselves in the thick of the battle not at the end of it. Now we fight skirmishes every four months. Bloody small things that leave broken soldiers on the ground, bleeding from gut wounds and severed jugulars, the smell of blood and piss and shit overpowering or senses, numbing them. What really am I talking about? Battles? Exams? No. I am talking about life. I merely use the grittiness of battle and the progressive heatedness of our exams to illustrate a point to my audience most of which are students. Notice a pattern, it got progressively worse. The maxim ‘e go better’ is nothing but a comforting lie. It doesn’t. Your exams didn’t get easier did they? You didn’t get fewer exams just because you ‘ve gotten lots in the past before. Life will not spare you because you’ve seen tragedies. I suspect you will face even more ’cause life hates those that dare survive. Some will say that when you graduate your exams end. But does it? Really? You will write aptitude exams for jobs, do postgraduate courses and keep writing exams till they put the last nail in your fucking coffin. My point, life. It only gets worse. You get older, weaker, things get harder, there is no respite. When you think the storm is over lightning strikes from a clear blue sky. The times you think you’ve seen the worst, life proves you wrong, it brings worse yet. Hope is an illusion, deceit of the worst kind. The world is at least 60 percent water. Meaning there is more water for you to drown in than land for you to walk on. The boundaries have been set long before you were born. You say learn to swim, if you do, a shark will eat you or you will suffer hypothermia. Get a raft, a storm will turn up to capsize you and your phony craft. We are programmed to fail. Some will call me a pessimist, but i chose to see myself as a realist. Eventually if u sail to an island in your raft successfully and think you found respite you will find the island inhabited by cannibals. It’s hopeless. Life will eat you up. Some will say I have lost my faith, some will call me a coward, say I’ve given up. Some will point at success stories and say look at that. But those are illusions. They failed too. You just don’t know it. They do and they understand what I am saying. Even if they haven’t failed yet, they will. Look at me if I didn’t reveal my defeatist or sadistic streak through this medium you would likely point me out as a success story too. I laugh at the irony. Only vampires would know the bitter blood that runs through my veins. Who would know that I’ve thought of ending it, going out with a big blast, taking as many of the generals and officers of this battle along. But even that is an illusion. There are no generals, no captains. All are warriors, simple soldiers. There are no officers. Just victims. Some people still point me out. How little they know. Yes let me tell you a bit of my story. I am a survivor. Once positive and helplessly naive. I stared death in the face countless times. Watched the life bleed from my battered body and fought, and prevailed and realised that you live only to fight another day. I fought long and hard but now i’m a simple deserter. There’s always another battle. So why keep fighting when eventually you will lose the war. I do not say to lie down and die. I do not say anything in fact. I am a writer not a preacher. I may have been a preacher but now I am just a writer. I simply pen down my thoughts to educate you on what I know and have experienced. I cannot teach you constitutional law or tell you cases from memory but I can teach you this about life that you will fail. Your chances of success are nill. Perhaps armed with this fatalistic knowledge you will survive long enough to give the illusion of success.
P.s: Your achievements are totally irrelevant ’cause regardless of them, you will die. And death is a failure of life. In the end, all will fail.